Death to 100,000 miles and how the IBA helped.
On the 3rd of July 2023 I died for half an hour, honest! People will tell you that life happens in black & white but Dave tells it in colour, I do. I was on a theatre bed whilst Mr. Faruk Ozalp lifted my heart out of my chest cavity, which he’d just broken into, and replaced a knackered (medical term) bicuspid aortic valve for a bovine tri cuspid valve. Recovery went well and I had a focus on the unfinished business of riding 100,000 miles (about 160934.4 km) on my 2016 Triumph Trophy SE. This I achieved at six weeks after the operation.
I have always been a person with Objectives, I learned all about objective setting in my working life and the skill has served me well. I love Safe Long-Distance Motorcycling which is what IBA membership is all about, one of the things we Iron Butters excel at is Photographic Rallies. I did the first ever Brit Butt Rally in 2008 which was a 36-hour rally based on the World-famous Iron Butt Rally (IBR) which is 11 days, 11,000 miles at $11,000. After which I vowed never to do another. The raison d'être being at about 35 hours into the Rally I made a road traffic decision that resulted in a near miss so decided Motorcycling was already dangerous enough adding to the pressure cooker environment of my personal desire to win I increased that risk to an unacceptable level so I decided to facilitate Rallying to my fellow motorcycling brothers by being a Rally Helper whenever I could.
Just before I died, I thought I was now mature enough to try a more relaxed 12-hour Rally and entered the Brit Butt Light (BBL), a 12-hour rally version. With revised Objectives in my mature years of, one getting to Rally Start, two planning a ride and riding that plan, and finally to be classed as a finisher. The BBL was a revelation, organised by Phil Western an IBR veteran. I took a gentle stroll through the West Country taking images of henges, stone circles and chalk horses in brilliant sunshine and I achieved my three objectives. But I could have done better, and the seed of Rallying was set.
My good IBA buddy Gerd Heinzman suggested I try his Magic 12 Rally 2024 and without much thought and a pint of Guiness or two I signed up. Another good IBA buddy Chris McGaffin IBR Veteran offered the Celtic Rally Tartan edition which a month ahead of Magic12 would be a good warm up event, so I signed up for that too.
Objective One getting to the start. 
Obviously when you are over 70 plus years sucking air stuff wears out and a Pleural Effusion knocked back my open-heart surgery recovery by several months as living with only one lung working is tough, don’t try this at home. I kept the booking and worked towards being fit enough to attend with my next order of business of preparation. Firstly, what is required in terms of ‘gear’ to aid riding a photo rally.
A while back I found this fantastic App called Packing Pro which I used extensively for Cycling events as an NEG (National Escort Rider) for British cycling. The App allows you to prepare a packing list and I have many lists for various scenarios. My list gives me all the items required by their location on the bike meaning I know where everything is supposed to be and means I rarely get caught out without a necessary item. Hotels booked, time given with a Domestic Pass, and all items on Packing Pro ticked as present and correct I set off towards Dundee.
Lovely ride North on the more twisty way of the A696 into the A68 and the authorities in Scotland have had the good grace to turn off all Safety Cameras on the route. Obviously the A720 Edinburgh bypass was its usual Friday Bank holiday nightmare and combat filtering was the name of the game. I’d learnt combat filtering whilst riding in London and see it as a bona fide advantage of motorcycling, I passed several fellow motorcycle riders sitting in the traffic queue and wondered inside the safe space of my helmet, WHY? A new Firth of Forth bridge is magnificent and would normally mean faster crossing times than the old bridge but even after such an expensive construction it was being fixed! But onwards and Northwestwards to Dundee. Ensconced in the cheaper Travelodge next door to the naughty persons hostel, it was cheaper for a reason. The facade had an Eastern Block feel to it and even the in-room kettle did not work; but well prepared me had a Jet Boil in my left pannier according to Packing Pro so disaster averted and a 5 am hot porridge and cup of tea to set me up for the day.
A final small obstacle to overcome was to retrieve a riding glove, this trip I packed no spare gloves, that had managed to slip behind a radiator. Packing Pro to the rescue and a torch was retrieved from my Tank Bag, a clothes hanger adapted to reach down and retrieve the errant glove, disaster averted. Slow ride to start whilst a boy racer speeds down Strathmore Avenue, a 30-mph limit at an estimated 70 mph, followed by a cop in a transit. I doubt if he caught the speeding vehicle. And arrived at Law Monument start point. Objective one achieved, tick.
Objective two, plan a route then ride the plan. Rally Masters are more colloquially called Rally Bastards and Chris is no exception. The Rally book was a work of art with 141 locations you could possibly visit and eight combination bonuses, we were sent this tome along with a .GPX file 36 hours prior to the Rally start time and I have a PC and smart phone so once on the road have no way to fiddle with my route and download to my Garmin 595LM. Many riders carry laptops for this purpose, I think Magic 12 will send me the BPs (Bonus Points) one week ahead of their rally, so once I figure out a route then that is what I ride. Each BP has a points value, each combination has a points value, but to add to the complexity you could only ride odd or even BP’s except if you chose to use your Jokers. This convoluted rule setting and point giving is all set to confuse and fluster but not being a big dog in rallying terms I just wanted to gain enough points to be classed as a finisher and have a pleasant ride through the highlands of Scotland on the less travelled roads.
My plan worked out using Garmin BaseCamp gave me a ride of 443 miles visiting 11 BP taking 10 hours five minutes giving me nearly two hours for food, fuel, BP collecting, toilets and contingency. I planned the route so the first half of the day I was off and on the bike bagging BP’s and the second half of the day was one BP and a lot of riding. Entry level for IBA Members is 1,000 documented miles within 24 hours but I only had 12 hours so less than 500 miles sounds easy however many roads needed to be travelled were not billiard table smooth multi lane highways and a BP with many points was often at the end of a 20-mile cul-de-sac along a goat track and although National Speed limit applies riding 20 miles in and 20 miles out is a big ask to average 60-mph!
Riding the plan had me at BP eight still on time. I used half an hour to refresh, eat and drink a time to remove my helmet and dry the visor, and relax. Big Dogs don’t relax on Rally Clock time, I’m not a Big Dog and just needed to get to the finish location in 12 hours (or 13 hours with time points lost) with 7,500 points the minimum for a finish; my plan gave me 11,359 points. So far so good even though rain and mist had been an ever-present factor. Off to the key to my plan BP45, along said cul-de-sac and on arrival the scene before me was not as shown in the book. Knowing how Rally Bastard thinks, well I thought it prudent to ring in and ask why the picture showed a pair of retrievers but real life before me showed one retriever? I stopped a couple of passing cars and then knocked on the door of a nearby cottage and all said it had always been a retriever, not retrievers and close examination of the Rally book showed a bit of photo manipulation had gone on to show two dogs, and even the BP description said plural of retriever (s). I told you he was a Bastard! It was crucial for my finish score as failure to complete the combo would be 2,010 points lost and the BP value of 1,900 points lost giving me a total of only 7,449 a DNF (did Not Finish).
I made only one amendment on the fly but should have made three amendments. Firstly, on route from BP 38 to BP100 I passed BP 138 which was a whopping 905 points but because it was an even number and I’d used my two Jokers I rode on. Points of high value like 905 are not given lightly and the pass it was on was a challenging ride in thick fog but in my head the mantra of “Plan the ride, ride the plan” forced me on when I should have taken the offer and dropped BP100 at 471 points a net difference to my score of +434. The next change was doing BP’s 29 and 141 before BP45, this error added about 40 miles to my route again mantra of Plan the ride, ride the plan won out. The third opportunity to deviate from the plan was BP119, which I took and gained 334 points.
Now all I had to do was return to Rally HQ and not lose any points at the scoring table. Objective two achieved, tick.
Objective three gain finishers status in the Celtic Rally Tartan Edition. 
My conservative plan worked. My packing list worked. My bike worked. At the scoring table all my submissions worked. I was awarded 11,693 points. A finisher. Objective three achieved, tick.
At var nigh 73 years old I like to give myself objectives, health issues over the last 10 months have meant waking up each morning was a gain, every day a bonus. To arrive at the Rally start, ride my plan and gain finishers status fulfilled all my objectives and I grow old every learning.
To be given rider number 1 at Rally Start by Chris was a real tonic to me; to set off in front of the Biggest Rally Dog in Europe (Robert the Sprout (he is a Kraut but now live near Brussels)), even though he passed me at the first traffic lights I was in front of him up to minute two on the Rally Clock, another tonic to this Old Fart. Finally, to learn looking for a Shell station in Inverness instead of filling up at the first station on route is a devilish waste of Rally time, meaning I'm still growing old ever learning another tonic. I learned my lesson in BBR2008 finishing 14th that Rallying was not for me and since then I have, where possible, helped at various Rally’s to facilitate that my fellow IBA Riders have a playing field to practice their skill set on. But now after an 18th place in BBL2022 and a best result in my Rallying history of 13th in Celtic Rally Tartan Edition 2024 who knows what I can achieve at Magic 12 in about 4 weeks, God Willing.
Left the Rally Bastard Chris and right our winner Robert with over 26,000 points, as I say Rally Big Dog.
HERE is a hot link to all my photos.
Great to see you again, big man!
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