Friday, 8 May 2015

Three corners

April 25 2015

Ian Ransome and I are attempting a Four Corners and an End to End combined which proved to be good planning as will be seen later in this tale, so here we are at Tesco Penzance and not a failed artist or superannuated hippie in sight which is hardly surprising at 2.30 AM.

We started at Penzance for the simple reason that Ian's sister lives close to Lands End hence free accommodation,

With a receipt timed at stupid AM we started north on the A30/M5 mixed weather showers and sunshine when it finally appeared around 5AM a quick stop at Gordano services for tea and a bacon buttie by the time we got to the Severn bridge the rain had stopped and it was overcast and dry when we finally got off the end of the M4 the ride was more interesting. 

After getting fuel and stretching the legs and trying to get some life back in my arris, for those of you that aint up to scratch wiv cockerny arris is an abbreviation of Aristotle which rhymes wiv bottle which is an abbreviation of bottle and glass which rhymes wiv arse all clear so far......good. 

Anyhoo back to the saga we headed North on the  A487 to Aberwristwatch  (never could get my head round this Welsh spelling) via Cardigan, on the way we got tangled up with a cycle rally there was undreds of the buggers spread over about 20 miles which made life interesting on the narrow welsh  coast road.

Finally clear of all those effin cyclists we turned North East to Chester and lunch nice hot chocolate and a tuna pasta stretch the legs  get some life back in me arris, I aint doing the explanation again.
Now we are on the M6 going North weather steadily getting worse after passing the Lake district it got colder as we climbed the Shap at Tebay services fuel stop extra thermal top stretch the legs get some life back in me arris have you spotted the pattern yet dear reader?

Weather now total crap going North M6/A74M but making good progress all the way to the border at that point the sky cleared and lovely sunshine which lasted all the way to Ft William that was nice of the SNP to organise this for a couple of FEBS, a nice ride through Glasgow to the Erskine bridge and started north on the A82 past Loch Lomond and the Green welly at Tyndrum about 5PM still full of bikers power rangers suits everywhere.

Leaving that behind and climbing up to Rannoch moor the road opens out long fast straights and sweeping curves so good progress to Glen Coe weather still warm but the hills around the national ski centre covered in snow as were the tops of the hills in glen Coe,we rode past Jimmy Savile's old cottage in Glen Coe all boarded up and looking a bit sad.

Fuel and tea at Ft William stretch the legs  get some life back in me arris I wish it had gone numb, now the sun was going down so was the temperature and the rain was back so the pace fell as it was getting dark on unfamiliar roads as Inverness fell behind there was a couple of heavy snow showers which did sweet FA for our frame of mind and it was getting colder as we went north.

At the right turn off the A9 onto the A99 to Wick the final leg north got harder in the dark and more snow showers at this stage we were both getting tired I was getting muscle cramps in my shoulders and legs forcing me to stop twice to rest, finally we got to Tesco at Wick it was that cold I was shaking that much it took two goes to enter my pin No in the card reader.

we were both starting to make silly mistakes and were close to hypothermia Inspite of wearing two thermal layers  under my riding kit we were booked into the  Seaview Hotel at John o Groats for a couple of hours rest we stopped the ride there for the night as it would have been stupid to continue.

Had we been able to keep going we would have got the Four Corners, we should have done the ride in June for the warmer weather.

John Morning
thanks for looking 
7th May 2015
P.S Just got an e-mail from Mike Topham I did enough for an EtoE gold 
P.P.S Must do something with that poxy seat to save my arris from any more grief. 


  1. A very well written article of your attempt, its a definite problem which has to be endured with the arris in future rides I have considered a course of botox or local anaesthetic before setting off, and unfortunately Scotland always seems to be cold and wet until summer lands then contending with the insect population becomes the problem. But well done guys for what you achieved.

  2. Nice one you two, well done. One question, I got/get the arris bit but am lost on FEBS. In the context of SNP would I be right in thinking the EB part stands for English bastards?
    Again, well done and enjoyed the write-up.
    Cheers, Iain. (scooterboy)

    1. Dear Anonymous
      It starts with F and ends with G i'm sure you can fill in the gaps.